i feel hung over. didnt drink or anything last night. and i never get hangovers when i do. but i feel like complete hell and want to just sleep for a few days. but if i miss anymore school i wont get credit for classes. fuck it all. damn it detention next weekend...great fabulous fun! eww cant even think about next weekend. makes me want to throw up.
ive been thinking a lot about love lately...i think its quite a funny thing. well not funny. interesting i guess. i dont really know a word to describe it besides love. but seeing the two of them together just standing in my room holding hands was love. the way they look at eachother. and the way he talks about her and tells me things about her. how can he find it and hes younger than me and im here by myself with no hope. but then i think about it more. and start realizing that love is easily confused with lust. very easliy confused with it. i see lust mistaken for love everyday. that terrfies me. because i am easily mistaken and easily fooled. lust or love...sigh.
im losing weight and some body heat...so deep that i didnt even scream, fuck me